Drowning
by Kenpachi.and.Marco.Fan11
Summary: "You don't want to be saved. ...but some people get lucky." WARNING: VERY ANGSTY BUT HAPPY ENDING. Not a deathfic.


**A/N: Just an idea that came to me while writing the next chapter of "All Those Times." And I figured, might as well write it down while it's still fresh. That being said, enjoy.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own HTTYD but I wish I did. (but don't we all wish we did?)**

You don't need water to drown. You don't need air to choke. You don't need poison to die. You don't need fire to burn. No, death doesn't need any of this. All you need is people, people who frown upon you. Your existence is nothing worthwhile, some _thing _that just gets in the way of daily life. You are either dead or getting there, according to the people, never fast enough. It's not hard to feel useless when you swim in a sea of it.

Every foul glance cast your way sets a heavy weight on your shoulders, weighing you down more with each step. Every scowl and sneer set before your eyes binds your hands behind your back, feeling helpless. Every name and insult spat in your face ties your feet together, making you feel worthless. And as you stand there, stationary and defenseless, you're much more in-tune with the snide remarks and mutters that usually escape you.

"He's just too weak."

"He'll never be a Viking."

"Why doesn't the chief just send him out?"

"He's a disgrace."

"Stoick should just remarry and hope for a better heir."

"Why was he even born?"

And as the sounds of disgust plug your ears, each word and each remark is like a bucket of acid dumped over your head to pool at your feet, burning and ingraining your mind with thoughts that maybe you shouldn't have been born. Maybe you shouldn't exist. Maybe you are a disgrace.

Mentally and emotionally numbed, you don't notice the pool of acid constantly inching higher and higher, eating away at everything you are and everything you want to be. And as it reaches your neck, you lose the strength to breathe. It reaches your mouth and you lose the will to speak. It reaches your nose and you lose the scents of life. It reaches your eyes and you lose the power to see. Finally, as you stand there, an empty shell with nothing left, it pools over your head and leaves to you drown, wallow in everything you don't want to hear.

You don't want anything after this. You don't want to hear their voices. You don't want to see their faces. You don't want to feel the grass against your skin. You don't want to taste the salty sea breeze. You don't want to feel the pain of living. You don't want to be saved. You can't be saved, that's all you think. You beat yourself down until there's nothing left. You kill your inner child. You lock your emotions in a padlocked box. You throw your thoughts to the beasts. All that's left is a hollow shell, drowning in a sea of blatant disregard and ridicule. You don't want to be saved. You don't want to live any more.

Some people get lucky. They have a hand reach out and grab them, pull them to the surface before they've fallen too far. They are given a reason to carry on, a reason to grin and bear through remarks and scowls. They're given a reason to live. They never feel the pain of drowning again because they have a friend to pull them from the brink. They have someone that gives them a reason to live out each day. The have someone who leads them away from dark thoughts. They have someone who is there when they are needed most. They have someone that makes them laugh when they are down.

I used to be like that, drowning in the words spoken and the looks given. I thought I couldn't be saved, that I wouldn't be saved. But I was, and here I am. I no longer stand on the precipice, wanting to end the pain of living each day. I have a reason to carry on now. I have a reason to live out each day to its best. I have someone who will take me by the hand and lead me away from thoughts I used to think. Someone who is always there when I need them most. Someone that comforts me in my darkest hours. Someone who makes me laugh when I feel down. Someone who just completes my life and makes it worth living. Now, I can't imagine living without that someone. I can see again, black scales that shimmer dark blue in the sun. I can hear again, the purrs and croons that make my day. I can feel again, the wind that whips my face as we fly. I'm glad I was saved, and I couldn't have asked to be saved by anyone better. I laugh as my cheek is nudged by a scaled, angular face and happy purrs fill my ears. "I love you too, Toothless."

**So, crazy, way angsty but it got happier! Just a little something for you all to enjoy. Thank you and review!**


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